I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
