I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
