So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
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Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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