It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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