i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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