In America we eat man semen.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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