I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
