Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
