party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
