It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
