If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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