He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
