Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
