Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
