You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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