the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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