Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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