I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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