I understand Curling. That high.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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