it's like iHOP with fire
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
