we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Randomize
