Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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