he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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