I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
