I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
