new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
