yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
