College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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