Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
