the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
