i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
i've created a new STD.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
