what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
