If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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