If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Randomize
