you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
vagina is talking i cant
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
We talked him into tasing himself.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
