is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
