just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
