You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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