I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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