the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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