is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
