help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize