this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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