I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
