But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place