Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
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Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
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I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?