i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
