He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
