i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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