Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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