Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
