I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
This house was built for laser tag.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
