Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
