So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
3pm strippers are depressing
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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