Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
