just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
