so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
