guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
