Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
