someone owes me an orgasm
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I'm always down for nudity.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize